Democrats: We are Armed and Dangerous

While on the campaign trail, stress levels rise to new highs. Grumpy viruses are passed around like herpes at a frat party. Minute achievements become monumental. Waking up at 7:00 am is equivalent to sleeping in. Our team, minus the CB (crackberry - our newest and best team member), decided that there is only one way to remedy the stress of campaign life: shoot guns.
Initially, we wanted to go shooting one morning before we began our day. I walked into the shooting range, Starbucks lattes and my team in tow, and proudly stated "We want to shoot guns!" The Bubba behind the counter said "Y'all haven't shot before, have ya?". Hmmm, I wonder what gave him that idea?
As it turns out, we couldn't be worked into their schedule that day. Not deterred, we found a place yesterday out in the country that was willing to let us shoot. As we pulled up to the range, we became slightly frightened when we saw a big Bush-Cheney sign out front. This is not friendly territory. We walked inside the foyer, only to see a huge poster with a picture of John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy and Nancy Pelosi. The poster said "Beware: These People Want to Take Away Your Right to Bear Arms". YIKES. We proceeded into the most armed place I've ever seen in my life. The heart attack in progress sitting behind the counter asked "Hey y'all, how can we help you today?" This guy was morbidly obese and sweating like a pig, but extremely friendly. We were unable to hide our excitement.... We inquired about shooting, handed over our licenses. When asked as to our reasons for being in Dallas, we answered in unison "We're visiting friends." Allison and I volunteered to take the first safety course. The instructor was extremely friendly. We learned about the various parts of a hand gun, gun safety, etc. We were lead back to the land of the Bubbas where another man took us to the range. While he was instructing us, he informed us that John Kerry wanted to take away all the guns so that we couldn't defend ourselves against unknown danger. And apparently, according to Bubba 1, the gay rights groups in DC are lobbying for repealing the stringent gun laws in DC and are for concealed weapons. My instant thought was "You must be joking, guns would make a terrible accessory. No gay man in his right mind would carry one." I decided to keep that to myself. He must have thought he should appeal to our gay friendly side. He also informed us that we should place our shot targets on the front doors of our houses to show intruders that we mean business. Paranoia must be a bitch to live with.
I loaded the .9 mm Glock. I must admit that it was quite exciting. Gear on and ready to go, Allison and I shot our first gun. Exilirhating! Round after round, it was super exciting. The boys then finished their class and joined us. Rob even shot his target, a photo of a robber with a gun, directly in the eye. Even though they people were a little looney, they were extremely nice to put up with us. Afterward, the city dorks drove back to Dallas proper. While in the car, we called everyone we knew and told them about our adventure. Watch out world... We are armed Democrats!
On a campaign note, tomorrow evening is the volunteer recruitment event that CB and I organized. We are headed out to a massive block party in Cedar Springs, the gay section of dallas. Allegedly, there will be 5-10 thousands people running around - spectacles and spectators. My fantasy is that we can get some tricked out drag queens to volunteer, but I'll settle for 100 non-drag volunteers. Not all volunteers can be fabulous. This is the first event that I did without having to be asked. It's all Kelly ran. Let's see if it goes as smoothly as hoped.